The sky is blue. The trees are green. Birds are chirping the sweet song of... oh who am I kidding, I am terrible at writing creative prose. I have absolutely no propensity to sit down and write, so it's no wonder that when forced to do so for coursework, I utterly fail. I've known this for a long time, but I stand before you now, in an honest attempt to lift this cloak of mystery that surrounds the conjuring of ideas from thin air.Ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, may I present a never before seen look into my mind. Through a breakdown of my thought process, I will inevitably make excuses as to why I procrastinate whenever I am told to put words on paper. In some way, I hope to cure the plague that has delayed paper submissions as long as I can remember.
Remember, the act of recalling to mind by an effort of memory. What a wonderful place to begin. I can only imagine creating from the memories of past experiences. A sound I've enjoyed, a place I've been, the people I've known would all come to mind when I attempt to create anew. Well, they would if my memory worked a bit better.
Instead, trying to extract a specific fact from my noggin is a crapshoot. I have long thought of internal memory workings as a filing system. Each thought starts as a separate blank sheet of paper. Some get filed properly, others are thrown into the miscellaneous drawer due to lack of context, consideration of the thought's meaning, or pace at which new ideas are coming in.I am often halted by the desire to remember an idea that has just passed. Typically, I lose my train of thought... like now. [Spent a few seconds dolling over where this post was going, then blam-o my thought vanished]. So, my memory is not so great. If I'm not mistaken, I believe I wanted to relate that back to the difficulty I find in writing unique details. Sure, I can write as I am watching things, but it takes me quite some time to come up with the perfect word. Delia had a name for my type - those who stop mid-sentence until the right word comes along - but guess where that name is now. No, do guess because I honestly can't... irker. That was it.
See how that works? Makes straight thinking difficult. Whereas a story starts at 1 and goes to 10, I may come up with 3 and 8 first, hoping the rest fills itself out. That is what you are reading right now. I think we're on 6, or I hope so.
Anyway, memory. Not only are personal experiences filed for future viewing, or losing, but the media that we encounter adds to the world of details we can pull from as writers. I'm talking about books I read when I was 12, the TV selling me things I don't need at the check-out counter, the radio programing between 7:06 and 7:21 on my way to high school, and the one movie I've walked out of.
Much class discussion has covered the rapid speed of information flying at us constantly, but I'm beginning to think that the source affects the ability to file. I have heard that to be a good writer, you must read. Since coming to college, my brain has been constantly pelted with course work. So much so that I have no time for pleasure reading. Yet, I find that I better remember what I choose to engage in, as opposed to course requirements.
Even now, I could discuss the characters in Kurt Vonnegut's Sirens of Titan, read over winter break, but that memory is constantly being pushed further back in the filing cabinet. This week it's podcasting, Total Recall as post-modern science fiction, the book of Joshua, psychogeographic marketing and 3 full days of filming. To say I'm overwhelmed is right on the nose.Yet, I don't think that it's a personal matter of this time period or the stage of life that I am in. We, as a society, need to simplify, reprioritize. Most of the podcasts relate to technology overtaking our lives. How can we flourish if we are condemned to self-loathing?
So, to come to a point (and stop this rambling), I think that the increased stimuli have made me dismissive. Thereby my solution to becoming a better writer is slowing down, taking note and truly observing what I see. Even though this world seems hyper, I don't have to be. See this image to the right made up of complex circular vectors? I most enjoy the muted orange flower. That's my favorite color.
A personal break though? We'll see if I remember this tomorrow.
Image Source: Sky, Filing, Circles
Wow, it was like reading my what's on my mind.
ReplyDeleteYou and I, and possibly many others, aren't so different when you get down to the basics.
I have a huge problem with memory to the point that I'm taking supplements to improve it.
That filing cabinet analogy really does put into words how my -- and obviously your -- head works quite well.
Although, I think that a filing cabinet might even be too forgiving in my case; more like a house with memories just tossed in a box thrown in a complex array of rooms.
Writing a paper over two pages is always a challenge for me because, as a Twitter addict, I'm so used to condensing my point down to as few words as possible.
When I'm expected to write 15, 10, or even 5 pages I begin struggling at page 3, really pushing the bullshit meter at around 5, and after 7 is nearly impossible.
Procrastination for me has almost become an art form where I'm surprised how far I can put something off until an assignment is due the next day and sometimes a few hours.
Just when I think it can't get worse, it does -- doesn't it always?
P.S. My favorite color is orange too.